The Shame: A Personal Essay About Autism
“Ava, you need to understand that there’s something wrong with you, actually, quite a few things.” I listened closely, sitting in the large orange chair, making stick figures with my nails on the...
View ArticleThe Clown, The Muser
“You’re such a character, Ava!” Over the course of my lifetime, I have easily heard that sentence hundreds of times. Sometimes it’s out of condescension, sometimes endearment, but I do not want to be...
View ArticleMy Love Letter to Pee-Wee Herman
The other day, while feeling particularly imperturbable yet precariously lonely, I looked down at my phone, waiting for something to talk about. And there I found it, a quotidian sausage party in the...
View ArticleLetter from the Void
“Hurry up Ava, we’re going to be late!” my father yelled. There was a soft ringing in my ears, my father could tell I wasn’t fully there by looking at my wistful face. There we were right outside the...
View ArticleShmile
There is one video you can find of me smiling in recent years. An unabashed, genuine look of happiness. It’s when I was coming to, after oral surgery. Getting my wisdom teeth removed the day before...
View ArticleFor Family Across the Sea
My great grandfather left America and went to Israel in his fifties or sixties. He had a bunch of kids with a bunch of different women. That’s why there are some Zeldmans in Israel. I used to think...
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